Twelve Favorite Moments from San Diego Pride 2019
by Eric Crow
July 12-14 marked the 45th anniversary of San Diego Pride, and as with all other Pride events, celebrated the 50th anniversary of Stonewall. The first year of Pride was march of just 25 people who marched with bags over their heads to conceal their identity (fear of being outed and then fired and/or evicted was very palpable then). The next year, 400 showed up for to march (organizers managed to secure a permit) ending with a rally at Balboa Park. (https://sdpride.org/1974-2/).
In 1999, San Diego Pride turned 25 and had the tear-gas incident along the parade route, which nearly shut down the parade. Once everything was cleared, the parade continued and attendees had a double-headline bill of Berlin and Joan Jett and the Black Hearts with the fabulous Judy Tenuta taking the stage just before Joan Jett. I managed to secure the opening slot on the Youth Zone stage that year, and returned the next year in the same slot. 2000 San Diego Pride was also the year of the first Mass Commitment Ceremony, officiated by then Rev. Tony Freeman of MCC-San Diego, and I participated with my then partner, Tom, along with about 500 other couples.
Fast-forward to 2019, and this year's Pride Parade broke records, with well over 300,000 in attendance. The event was also live-streamed on YouTube by ABC 10 News--Bears San Diego is contingent #55C and featured at about 1:26:00 in the 4-hr broadcast (www.youtube.com/watch?v=4dZpl9TU2SI). I was an exhibitor at the Leather Expo tent during Long Beach Pride, and opted to watch the parade with my Buzz-Munkeh (the only time we'd have together. I was in the vicinity of LA Pride, as part of the Finish Line Festival at AIDS Life Cycle, and I seriously considered going to SF Pride, but with predictions of attendance in the millions, it would have been just too much for me.
It was imperative that I march in at least one parade this year, and what better city to commemorate Stonewall 50 in than San Diego, my home town. I know I'm biased, but of all the Prides I've been to, San Diego just gets it right. The parade is on Saturday (only one of two cities that does this), so marchers are fresh-faced and ready to show their Pride (hours before tore-up o'clock), and the festival is one of the most affordable. And on top of this, while in the process of writing my exploratory essay on coming out, I realized that this was both my 30th anniversary of being out, as well as the silver anniversary of participating in pride.
I think I can count on one hand the times I've spectated, the rest of the time I've marched. I consider marching to be a matter of civic pride, as well. Gay Pride is a double-sided coin. We LGBTQ+ show and have Pride in ourselves just for being out in a world that still doesn't really respond well to our kind. We can only get married in 22 countries, but we can be jailed or executed in more than three times as many. That said, Gay Pride is also about not being ashamed to be just who we are and just as God made us. As the saying goes, "God is Love, and Love doesn't mind."
So without further ado, I present my twelve favorite moments from San Diego Pride:
1) Being asked to help carry the Bear Pride flag. I made my way towards Bears San Diego in the staging area, stopping first to greet and hug my San Diego Leather family ("The Titleholder Club"), marching a few minutes ahead of us. I found the club and went right to Donnie Vella, who would be my very gracious host after the pool party later that night. He asked me if I wanted to help carry the Bear Pride flag--the one that we'd been raising money for, to hoist on the Pride pole this coming October, in honor of Bears San Diego's 25th anniversary. Turns out it cost a fraction of the original cost estimate, and was already completely funded.
Each of the twelve who carried the flag had to have on gloves, to protect the flag and keep it stainless--eight of us wore white gloves. It weighed surprisingly little, and it was more of a challenge to keep it from touching the ground during folding than anything. I was nonchalant at first, saying, "Sure. I feel like walking today." But when I saw the flag completely unfurled, I understood the significance of this simple ask from Donnie and I was ready to march! I wasn't just walking a flag through a parade, I was stewarding an artifact of the Bear community.
2) Turning onto the parade route. When we turned onto University Ave. from "Normal Street" flag in our hands, to the sound of throngs of people cheering and rooting for us. Hands down, this is one of my proudest moments as a member of the Bear community, carrying a flag that represents who we are as a community and as a tribe (I assert that the Bear Brotherhood Pride flag rivals the Rainbow Pride flag for diversity and inclusion. I had one of two corners with a hook (where the flag gets raised up), and in particular the corner closest to the Bear claw, which is considered the heart of the flag. (For info on the history of the flag, visit www.crwflags.com/fotw/flags/qq-ibbf.html)
3) The entire parade route. Seeing those throngs of people on both sides of the street, and feeling the love from them as we walked by, cheering for us and cheering us on. Marching in a Pride parade, makes for one of the most intimate feelings you can ever feel in a large number of people. By time we got to the end of the almost 2-mile route, the love shown us and showered upon us had permeated our beings as we marched.
Leading us through the parade was Bill Hurd, Mr. Bear San Diego 2019. To see him interact with the whole crowd (on both sides of the parade route), and to see his loving, passionate way with said crowd, let me know he is making a big impact on the San Diego LGBTQ+ community, as well as making his mark on the community.
There were two others marching with us who I'd say were the "stars" of the parade. One did double-duty, carrying the flag part of the route, but then running along the sides to do drive-by high fives. The other, Peter Hoban, was in the front the whole time, a tall, beefy, beautiful hunk o' bear, who kept the parade crowds entertained with dancing, fan claps and other assorted merry-making. To these two, I say a hearty "Woof" of gratitude for all the spirit you brought to the table (#yaaaaasGod)
4) Where are the protestors? Both Jeff Breeze and I wondered, "Where are the protesters?" Each year, right around Vermont & University (the official borderline to Hillcrest, the gayborhood in San Diego), there is a group of die-hard (read: paid) protesters for Christ who hold up big signs and shout threats of retribution, hellfire and brimstone to the parade through megaphones. Those in parade contingents get told often not to engage them, because to do so is a losing game. They are not there to listen or engage people, they are there to tell us we're going to hell and generally be vexatious and irksome.
Except, not this year, or at least we thought, and what we found out was even better. We had rounded the corner on 6th & University, about four blocks away from their site, before it dawned on us that they were nowhere to be found. Someone else in the contingent someone told us the protesters had been walled off by more people with taller signs, shouting them down for the whole parade route, making it so they could neither be seen nor heard. Why no one thought of this before is certainly a face palm moment for the Gods.
5) Walking to the festival/ease of entrance. Once the club pulled over into the de-staging area, we stopped for group pics before heading to the festival. I hugged a bunch of people and stopped for some pics, including the blimp below. This year, I would get all my hugs in while walking to the festival. I also stopped along the way to take picture of the 45 blimp. Weekend passes were all that was available at the gate, but $30 for a weekend pass with in and out privileges? That's unheard of. Ease of purchase and ease of entry (no issues with pup collars here) was really encouraging. It was all very well coordinated and seamless (but we all know that it only looks seamless from the outside, right?)
6) Lemonade. The festival was everything I remembered and needed it to be. County fair food, info booths, lots of wheels to spin to win prizes, march, gear, etc., the whole nine. But it's the simple things are what make San Diego Pride so good. As I wrote about in my "First Pride Parade" article, one of my favorite parts of Pride in my hometown is all the lemonade stands. Because there's nothing better after a hot summer day of marching than a nice, cool glass of lemonade in the shade. And it was still on sale for about the same price, too. I stopped at the stand that was actually in the shape of a giant lemon and asked for a 16-oz classic. I took the first sip and was almost instantly transported back to those early days. It doesn't get much better than this.
7) The Leather Realm. After a bite from one of the food booths and a rest in the shade, I headed for the Leather Realm, nestled in the heart of the Fruit Loop (Marston Point). I was an exhibitor with the Leather Expo Tent at Long Beach Pride, which was a fantastic success in its own right, but this time was pure spectator time. The Leather Realm at San Diego Pride is HUGE (at least twice the size of the Leather Expo, with a lot of room to walk around. Club X, Fetish Men San Diego, Bears San Diego and many others had info tables, along with a few vendors and two demo areas and two classroom areas.
My fun was at the demo areas. I hadn't been flogged since Long Beach Pride, so I was overdue and my demo top, Scott, sent me to a nice place, considering it was just a five minute, 101 type scene. The good tops can take a short time and make you lose track of time. I also tried a pentagram rope harness for the first time (I'm usually one for just four-point bondage, to get them tied down and ready for what would happen when they were bound). I specifically asked to have the harness put on while shirtless, because I wanted to feel the full length of the ropes brushing against my hair. The whole scene took about 10 minutes, and when I thought back to it on Sunday, it gave me a light bulb moment for a future unity event/happening. I stopped by the Bootblack stand to get my piggy pin from Duke Ruff before heading out. I was satisfied and my heart was full.
8) Seeing the SD Gay Men's Chorus on stage singing Cher's "I Believe." I didn't stay for much of the MainStage entertainment, but I paused for this moment, and it was good enough. And while on the way there, who should I see going past me on a scooter but Aquaria, Season 10 winner of RuPaul's Drag Race! I didn't know that she was performing until I picked up a copy of the pride program the next day and saw that she performed with Eureka and Asia O'Hara right around the time I would be heading over to the pool party. I would have stayed to see this if not otherwise engaged. The chorus was in full swish and the audience was there for it. I was there for it. It is what the MainStage is about.
9) A break from the heat. San Diego Pride happens in July, and July in San Diego is humid and sunburn-making if you're not careful. I left the festival around 4 pm, to chill out and prepare for the evening's festivities with the club. I had a few moments to kill before hustling over to the pool party to be there reasonably after the 5 pm start time (I know what you're thinking). I stopped inside the Starbucks on
5th & Robinson for a double-shot on ice and headed over to to the 24-Hour Fitness up the street for a quick circuit workout and refreshing shower and clothing change for the evening. I hustled my way through the crowds of folks at various stages of tore-up o'clock, to get a dessert for the potluck portion (tiramisu), catching a break as a bus pulled up that would take me half-way there. While taking a quick look at the event invite for the address, I saw that the party started at 7, not 5. Big sigh of relief at not being so late. Why is this one of my favorite memories? Because it was the only time of the day when I could turn it off for a second and just be.
10) So many Bears, so little time. When the Lyft driver arrived at my stop, I saw a few Bears heading to the same house, so I knew I would be in good company. I was not ready for what I saw when I walked in. The pool and pool area was already hopping, with at least 30 Bears already there, in the pool and lounging off to the side--this number would almost double before the evening was over. I was starting to get the feeling I'd been here before, only I hadn't--I was just remembering the first Bears SD pool party I went to, waaaaaaaay back in October 2001 (story coming soon). As always, mix together lots o' bears, lots of food, and lots of frisky fun in the pool that these bears were having, and you get sweet bear yogurt (like bear soup only with extra cream, catch my drift.)
I felt very much the extrovert, striking up conversations with anyone that passed my way, whether by the pool or by the food table. It was great to get to know David Ferguson and Donnie Vella beyond just saying Hi! They're both quite the fun-loving characters and great energy to be around. Oh and yes, as it goes with a Bears pool party, friskiness happened below and above the water. (I'll let your imagination do the wandering).
11) One more cocktail. After a few Malibu & pineapple with strawberry garnish (along with a few glasses of wine mixed in), it was time to start cleaning up the place. I was there as long as Donnie was, so I might as well make myself useful. We rode home with Justin to Donnie's place in Spring Valley, where I met his husbear, Anthony, and settled in for the evening. I had one more cocktail and was told I fell asleep in the middle of the second episode of "Impractical Jokers." It had been a looooooong day and I had been up since 4 am--is it any wonder? I was just plain tuckered. The smell of a Big Breakfast from McDonald's and coffee in the morning was a perfect. Such sweet hosts, Donnie and Anthony. Thank you both. MWAH!
12) Coming home to my Munkeh and catching up on our shows. Need I say more?
Thanks to everyone, old friends and new, for a Pride to remember, almost above all others. And more than that, thank you to Bears San Diego. I'm so glad I am getting the chance to reconnect with the club. It keeps me humble and reminds me where I came from. I can't wait to see you all in October for the Silver Anniversary! WOOOOOOOF!
Visit http://www.bearssd.org for more info about Bears San Diego. Photo credits go to Paul Ness, Donald Vella and Eric Crow. Article text ©2019 Eric Franklin Crow.
Visit New Horizons here:
FB: facebook.com/NewHorizonsForFifty
YT: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Yb9ElQI8lGU ("Old Town, New Tricks" - a photo essay of my old haunts and hangouts in San Diego.)
IG handle: newhorizonsforfifty
July 12-14 marked the 45th anniversary of San Diego Pride, and as with all other Pride events, celebrated the 50th anniversary of Stonewall. The first year of Pride was march of just 25 people who marched with bags over their heads to conceal their identity (fear of being outed and then fired and/or evicted was very palpable then). The next year, 400 showed up for to march (organizers managed to secure a permit) ending with a rally at Balboa Park. (https://sdpride.org/1974-2/).
Fast-forward to 2019, and this year's Pride Parade broke records, with well over 300,000 in attendance. The event was also live-streamed on YouTube by ABC 10 News--Bears San Diego is contingent #55C and featured at about 1:26:00 in the 4-hr broadcast (www.youtube.com/watch?v=4dZpl9TU2SI). I was an exhibitor at the Leather Expo tent during Long Beach Pride, and opted to watch the parade with my Buzz-Munkeh (the only time we'd have together. I was in the vicinity of LA Pride, as part of the Finish Line Festival at AIDS Life Cycle, and I seriously considered going to SF Pride, but with predictions of attendance in the millions, it would have been just too much for me.
It was imperative that I march in at least one parade this year, and what better city to commemorate Stonewall 50 in than San Diego, my home town. I know I'm biased, but of all the Prides I've been to, San Diego just gets it right. The parade is on Saturday (only one of two cities that does this), so marchers are fresh-faced and ready to show their Pride (hours before tore-up o'clock), and the festival is one of the most affordable. And on top of this, while in the process of writing my exploratory essay on coming out, I realized that this was both my 30th anniversary of being out, as well as the silver anniversary of participating in pride.
I think I can count on one hand the times I've spectated, the rest of the time I've marched. I consider marching to be a matter of civic pride, as well. Gay Pride is a double-sided coin. We LGBTQ+ show and have Pride in ourselves just for being out in a world that still doesn't really respond well to our kind. We can only get married in 22 countries, but we can be jailed or executed in more than three times as many. That said, Gay Pride is also about not being ashamed to be just who we are and just as God made us. As the saying goes, "God is Love, and Love doesn't mind."
So without further ado, I present my twelve favorite moments from San Diego Pride:
1) Being asked to help carry the Bear Pride flag. I made my way towards Bears San Diego in the staging area, stopping first to greet and hug my San Diego Leather family ("The Titleholder Club"), marching a few minutes ahead of us. I found the club and went right to Donnie Vella, who would be my very gracious host after the pool party later that night. He asked me if I wanted to help carry the Bear Pride flag--the one that we'd been raising money for, to hoist on the Pride pole this coming October, in honor of Bears San Diego's 25th anniversary. Turns out it cost a fraction of the original cost estimate, and was already completely funded.
Each of the twelve who carried the flag had to have on gloves, to protect the flag and keep it stainless--eight of us wore white gloves. It weighed surprisingly little, and it was more of a challenge to keep it from touching the ground during folding than anything. I was nonchalant at first, saying, "Sure. I feel like walking today." But when I saw the flag completely unfurled, I understood the significance of this simple ask from Donnie and I was ready to march! I wasn't just walking a flag through a parade, I was stewarding an artifact of the Bear community.
2) Turning onto the parade route. When we turned onto University Ave. from "Normal Street" flag in our hands, to the sound of throngs of people cheering and rooting for us. Hands down, this is one of my proudest moments as a member of the Bear community, carrying a flag that represents who we are as a community and as a tribe (I assert that the Bear Brotherhood Pride flag rivals the Rainbow Pride flag for diversity and inclusion. I had one of two corners with a hook (where the flag gets raised up), and in particular the corner closest to the Bear claw, which is considered the heart of the flag. (For info on the history of the flag, visit www.crwflags.com/fotw/flags/qq-ibbf.html)
3) The entire parade route. Seeing those throngs of people on both sides of the street, and feeling the love from them as we walked by, cheering for us and cheering us on. Marching in a Pride parade, makes for one of the most intimate feelings you can ever feel in a large number of people. By time we got to the end of the almost 2-mile route, the love shown us and showered upon us had permeated our beings as we marched.
Leading us through the parade was Bill Hurd, Mr. Bear San Diego 2019. To see him interact with the whole crowd (on both sides of the parade route), and to see his loving, passionate way with said crowd, let me know he is making a big impact on the San Diego LGBTQ+ community, as well as making his mark on the community.
There were two others marching with us who I'd say were the "stars" of the parade. One did double-duty, carrying the flag part of the route, but then running along the sides to do drive-by high fives. The other, Peter Hoban, was in the front the whole time, a tall, beefy, beautiful hunk o' bear, who kept the parade crowds entertained with dancing, fan claps and other assorted merry-making. To these two, I say a hearty "Woof" of gratitude for all the spirit you brought to the table (#yaaaaasGod)
4) Where are the protestors? Both Jeff Breeze and I wondered, "Where are the protesters?" Each year, right around Vermont & University (the official borderline to Hillcrest, the gayborhood in San Diego), there is a group of die-hard (read: paid) protesters for Christ who hold up big signs and shout threats of retribution, hellfire and brimstone to the parade through megaphones. Those in parade contingents get told often not to engage them, because to do so is a losing game. They are not there to listen or engage people, they are there to tell us we're going to hell and generally be vexatious and irksome.
Except, not this year, or at least we thought, and what we found out was even better. We had rounded the corner on 6th & University, about four blocks away from their site, before it dawned on us that they were nowhere to be found. Someone else in the contingent someone told us the protesters had been walled off by more people with taller signs, shouting them down for the whole parade route, making it so they could neither be seen nor heard. Why no one thought of this before is certainly a face palm moment for the Gods.
5) Walking to the festival/ease of entrance. Once the club pulled over into the de-staging area, we stopped for group pics before heading to the festival. I hugged a bunch of people and stopped for some pics, including the blimp below. This year, I would get all my hugs in while walking to the festival. I also stopped along the way to take picture of the 45 blimp. Weekend passes were all that was available at the gate, but $30 for a weekend pass with in and out privileges? That's unheard of. Ease of purchase and ease of entry (no issues with pup collars here) was really encouraging. It was all very well coordinated and seamless (but we all know that it only looks seamless from the outside, right?)
6) Lemonade. The festival was everything I remembered and needed it to be. County fair food, info booths, lots of wheels to spin to win prizes, march, gear, etc., the whole nine. But it's the simple things are what make San Diego Pride so good. As I wrote about in my "First Pride Parade" article, one of my favorite parts of Pride in my hometown is all the lemonade stands. Because there's nothing better after a hot summer day of marching than a nice, cool glass of lemonade in the shade. And it was still on sale for about the same price, too. I stopped at the stand that was actually in the shape of a giant lemon and asked for a 16-oz classic. I took the first sip and was almost instantly transported back to those early days. It doesn't get much better than this.
7) The Leather Realm. After a bite from one of the food booths and a rest in the shade, I headed for the Leather Realm, nestled in the heart of the Fruit Loop (Marston Point). I was an exhibitor with the Leather Expo Tent at Long Beach Pride, which was a fantastic success in its own right, but this time was pure spectator time. The Leather Realm at San Diego Pride is HUGE (at least twice the size of the Leather Expo, with a lot of room to walk around. Club X, Fetish Men San Diego, Bears San Diego and many others had info tables, along with a few vendors and two demo areas and two classroom areas.
8) Seeing the SD Gay Men's Chorus on stage singing Cher's "I Believe." I didn't stay for much of the MainStage entertainment, but I paused for this moment, and it was good enough. And while on the way there, who should I see going past me on a scooter but Aquaria, Season 10 winner of RuPaul's Drag Race! I didn't know that she was performing until I picked up a copy of the pride program the next day and saw that she performed with Eureka and Asia O'Hara right around the time I would be heading over to the pool party. I would have stayed to see this if not otherwise engaged. The chorus was in full swish and the audience was there for it. I was there for it. It is what the MainStage is about.
9) A break from the heat. San Diego Pride happens in July, and July in San Diego is humid and sunburn-making if you're not careful. I left the festival around 4 pm, to chill out and prepare for the evening's festivities with the club. I had a few moments to kill before hustling over to the pool party to be there reasonably after the 5 pm start time (I know what you're thinking). I stopped inside the Starbucks on
5th & Robinson for a double-shot on ice and headed over to to the 24-Hour Fitness up the street for a quick circuit workout and refreshing shower and clothing change for the evening. I hustled my way through the crowds of folks at various stages of tore-up o'clock, to get a dessert for the potluck portion (tiramisu), catching a break as a bus pulled up that would take me half-way there. While taking a quick look at the event invite for the address, I saw that the party started at 7, not 5. Big sigh of relief at not being so late. Why is this one of my favorite memories? Because it was the only time of the day when I could turn it off for a second and just be.
10) So many Bears, so little time. When the Lyft driver arrived at my stop, I saw a few Bears heading to the same house, so I knew I would be in good company. I was not ready for what I saw when I walked in. The pool and pool area was already hopping, with at least 30 Bears already there, in the pool and lounging off to the side--this number would almost double before the evening was over. I was starting to get the feeling I'd been here before, only I hadn't--I was just remembering the first Bears SD pool party I went to, waaaaaaaay back in October 2001 (story coming soon). As always, mix together lots o' bears, lots of food, and lots of frisky fun in the pool that these bears were having, and you get sweet bear yogurt (like bear soup only with extra cream, catch my drift.)
I felt very much the extrovert, striking up conversations with anyone that passed my way, whether by the pool or by the food table. It was great to get to know David Ferguson and Donnie Vella beyond just saying Hi! They're both quite the fun-loving characters and great energy to be around. Oh and yes, as it goes with a Bears pool party, friskiness happened below and above the water. (I'll let your imagination do the wandering).
11) One more cocktail. After a few Malibu & pineapple with strawberry garnish (along with a few glasses of wine mixed in), it was time to start cleaning up the place. I was there as long as Donnie was, so I might as well make myself useful. We rode home with Justin to Donnie's place in Spring Valley, where I met his husbear, Anthony, and settled in for the evening. I had one more cocktail and was told I fell asleep in the middle of the second episode of "Impractical Jokers." It had been a looooooong day and I had been up since 4 am--is it any wonder? I was just plain tuckered. The smell of a Big Breakfast from McDonald's and coffee in the morning was a perfect. Such sweet hosts, Donnie and Anthony. Thank you both. MWAH!
12) Coming home to my Munkeh and catching up on our shows. Need I say more?
Thanks to everyone, old friends and new, for a Pride to remember, almost above all others. And more than that, thank you to Bears San Diego. I'm so glad I am getting the chance to reconnect with the club. It keeps me humble and reminds me where I came from. I can't wait to see you all in October for the Silver Anniversary! WOOOOOOOF!
Visit http://www.bearssd.org for more info about Bears San Diego. Photo credits go to Paul Ness, Donald Vella and Eric Crow. Article text ©2019 Eric Franklin Crow.
Visit New Horizons here:
FB: facebook.com/NewHorizonsForFifty
YT: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Yb9ElQI8lGU ("Old Town, New Tricks" - a photo essay of my old haunts and hangouts in San Diego.)
IG handle: newhorizonsforfifty
Comments
Post a Comment