"On Your Block" Installment #3
"On Your Block" presents:
An Interview with Nicholas Oliver
by Eric Crow
For
this installment of "On Your Block," I met up with
Southland artist Nicholas Oliver at his home in North Hollywood for
an in depth interview. Like many others, I was overjoyed to learn about recovery when his husband, Jeremy, posted about it on
social media. As of April, he had successfully completed a treatment that grew his liver back completely, due to damage caused by the Hepatitis C ("Hep C") virus. I was glad for the chance to get to know Nicholas up close and glad to get the chance to discuss this chapter of his life.
Nicholas
was born at Long Beach Naval Hospital in 1981, to a father who was
part of Special Forces in the Navy. "We lived on the base
circuit in Ventura County," he recalls, "eventually
settling down in Fillmore, a small, reclusive farm town in Ventura
County that was very Republican and not the ideal place for a skinny
little white boy like me to be open about myself. I lived in fear
most of the time I lived there." As outlets for self-expression, he escaped
into the world sof the education and arts. "I dove into school, band, jazz, art club, symphony, anything
like that. if there was a music or art program, I was in it. I did
everything I could to live at school."
"I also grew up
in a family that had a gigantic love of the arts," Nicholas adds. I was escaping the
idea of being gay, internalizing and isolating, trying to hide, and
the arts forced me to create the world I would hide in (where I could be myself.") He wanted this world to have order and purpose. "I
decided my word would be a place where I dealt with the abuse and
anger I felt from bullies in town, but I would only deal with it in
positive terms. I brought up the dark things in my life but I did so
trying to remember the beauty in them."
Moved away and out on his own, he met Jeremy. If you know Nicholas, that means you also know his husband, Jeremy. Whether they are feeding each other at a dessert auction or spinning around the floor at Oil Can Harry's, to see them together is to know how well suited for each other they are. "He is the love of my life. We very much see life the same way and have nearly identical interests. We take different routes when we think about things, but no matter where we start, we end up in the same place."
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| Dancing the night away at Oil Can Harry's |
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| Nicholas and Jeremy at Los Angeles Leather Pride 2018 |
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| On vacation in Europe |
One such area where this approach works is how they love. "We met Wyatt four years ago and we both decided to invite him to share our lives. Wyatt is an example of how we meet at the same path. True love is not inhibitive, it is inclusive. He also helps us be more open-minded about things, and our relationship is harmonious, symbiotic, loving and mutually nurturing. Meeting Wyatt taught me that if the world presents an opportunity to love, take it."
Nicholas
was diagnosed with Hepatitis C at the very early age of 16, as the result of a tattoo he'd gotten in London. Hepatitis
C is a disease that can remain latent in the body and blood for years
and even decades. However, while it hides, it does not lay dormant; in fact, it spends
that time eating away at the liver. News of this problem meant that Nicholas had a dual diagnosis of Hep C with HIV, which he learned about twelve years ago. Today, there is also good news on this front. "My HIV is undetectable at this time. My T-cells (CD4 count) is high, my (RNA) viral load is undetectable, and I'm extremely healthy. (Visit the Hep C Hope Official Site, at https://www.hepchope.com). During his first
bout with the disease, his enzymes balanced out. "I told myself
I beat it."
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| Waiting patiently at UCLA Hospital |
Then
the disease struck back in January 2017, staying with him until the end of the year. "My liver had stopped working completely. I literally turned
yellow (jaundiced)." Normally a very private person, husband Jeremy was a catalyst regarding disclosure. "He forced me to reckon with the disease in a non-private way. I was serving as contestant Coordinator for the Los Angeles Mr. Leather contest, as well as on the Board of the Los Angeles Band of Brothers. It would have been painfully obvious that something was very wrong, and impossible to hide."
Options
were few and far between and prospects for survival slim, but then an experimental treatment was
discovered that would mark the turning point. "It was a long
and uncomfortable three-months, full of pills and shots, very
expensive and very painful, but the process ended up being a cure." He
spoke very highly of his care providers and network. "There is
nothing bad I could stay about my staff at UCLA...I got a private
nurse and all my care staff had a good bedside manner. If there are
angels it was them." The social and advocacy group, Thrive
Tribe, also played a role in terms of understanding how to navigate
health care bureaucracy. "When we first were involved (in Thrive), they helped me find better insurance. They are very skilled
at helping people get the right kind of insurance, prescriptions,
etc. If I'd had weaker insurance, I would not have been able to have
the treatment that cured me."
Nicholas
also names adherence as a successful component of his recovery. "The
only way I was able to beat the disease was by taking every pill and
treatment the doctors prescribed to me, and then by following every
single direction the doctors gave." His philosophy is simple.
"If there is a way you do something, you just do it. You only
have one life to live. When my doctor found out I followed his
instructions to the letter, he told me, 'You don't know how many
people won't do what you did.' Everyone, try to adhere."
"But
It's not just about taking pills," he continues. "It means
changing everything about your life--what you eat, what you drink and
especially how you breathe. Yoga and meditation helped me to get my
head in the right place. If there is no connection between the mind,
body and breath, then no healing can occur. Yoga forces alignment. It
forces you to slow down and think about the positions of your body
when you are channeling them. My stretching is not improving the way I'd
like, but it's still wonderful to be in the practice."
In terms of public perception, Nicholas says he is fine talking about it after the fact, but “I hated talking about it while I was going through it, because of a childhood fear of looking weak or suffering attention. When Jeremy forced me to go public, I learned that connectivity is important, because everyone suffers. I most appreciated the tips from people that were pragmatic (in nature); if they had an opinion based on scientific research, for example.” He also speaks highly of friends who were willing to go the distance. “I had friends who dropped everything to help me. To be able to look in someone’s eyes and know they are there for you and not just giving lip service, that’s game-changing.”
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| In a yoga pose. The Japanese character on his chest means "beauty." .......... |
A few days before Valentines Day in 2017, I attended a reception and reading for a book of poetry called “The Poetic Heart.” Poems were written by author Dave Russo and Nicholas provided the illustrations, which in this case were all hearts with their own words and poems imprinted on them. "I met Dave while I was working on a piece for Project Nunway, and he liked my work enough to commission me to create a piece for his own triad (three-way relationship).
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| Project Nunway in 2016 had a theme of "Tarot." This was based on the Hermit |
He started telling me about poetry he was writing at the time, but he
mentioned he was not brave enough to show it to anyone. After some
encouragement, he opened up and read four of his poems to me and
allowed me to look at more. I read this dark piece about a Holocaust
survivor, and in a flash, it reminded me of one of my hearts. I was
working on my own hearts project at the time, which was a collection
of heart pieces that represented my emotions and illness, all with
slashes and emotional torrents.
"I asked, 'Would you
ever consider the idea of marrying the poems and hearts?' The
collaboration was immediate and the synergy was incredible. By time I
left we had six connections between poems and hearts. It was a fast and organic collaboration, and we got it all done in four to five months months. I did
question whether our art was the the most sellable relationship, but
in the end, it all worked out. We are each other's biggest fans. Dave
is supporter of arts, and is doing LIVE Out Loud now.” LIVE Out
Loud is described as "A Cultural Evolution," with the goal
of "Celebrating the artistic & cultural contributions of the
LGBTQ+ community in Long Beach.” Nicholas glows about Russo. "To see someone with so much
spirit and drive go after what he wants...he's an incredible human
being, and if there's every a reason to collaborate again, I'd do it
in seconds." (For more info visit http://outloudlb.com.)
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| At the Valentine's Day reading of "The Poetic Heart" |
(Interviewer's Note: As an aside, illness is not something that is always readily visible to the naked eye. I never had any sense of Nicholas' struggle. At one point in the event, I remember Jeremy coming over to embrace me. He put his hand on my heart and we both stayed just as we were, watched Nicholas read a poem. It was a couple days before Valentine's Day, so I thought it a warm gesture from one fellow traveler to another, but there was something distinct about that moment, and the memory of that moment etched itself in my mind. Little did I know all that was going on under the surface. This was about a month after Nicholas' second bout had started, and it stayed through the year.)
We talked about the role of art
in illness and recovery. I wanted to know if there were any books,
music or art he used in his healing process, how they
helped. "My go-to is blues and soul singers like Etta James and
Aretha Franklin—women who just wail help to create a mood. I was
also inspired by darker Broadway shows. When I was first diagnosed,
Adele's "21" album was everything. If this Adele album was
playing, I worked through it and it would repeat until I stopped."
Especially
important to Nicholas is his love of the recent smash hit musical,
"Hamilton." “The concept of what we can be, coming out of
tragedy and being the hero in our own lives, then taking your shot
and leaving a legacy behind, all played a big role in my mindset.”
He explains the significance of the timing of the musical with
current events at the time. “I'm very disheartened with where
America is right now, and my art reflects that. Hamilton coincided
with Trump and my health challenge, and it put me in a negative
spiral. I was sucked into art that focused on politics. With art, you
can see whatever you want. You can imprint yourself and "Dare To
Be Different." Another piece, previewed in November on the New
Horizons Facebook page is entitled "America's Candy Dish,” and
is of almost central importance to Nicholas and his raison d'etre.
"This is part of a collection about my butterfly story. We live
in a country that tries to force everyone to assimilation, but there
is something to be celebrated in our uniqueness and diversity. We're
a better place when we allow ourselves to be who we are rather than
trying to conform."
At
this point, a fluffy dog named Gigi comes over to offer him a
paw, and we stop for a break to allow her energy in the space. "There's something about an animal that (both) gives you
unconditional love and forces you out of your head. If you're
stressed, she comes over for some love and reminds you that you're
not the only one in the room. Petting a dog has a (positive) effect
on the body. I can be on the phone or breaking down in hysterics, and
Gigi stops what she's doing and plops down on me, soft fur, floppy
ears and all."
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| With Gigi |
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We
touched briefly on his style and aesthetic preferences. "I call it 'geometric minimalism." To look at
"America's Candy Dish" up close and see the exacting and
painstaking detail he uses in creating. all done by hand, is to understand why it takes the proverbial 10,000 hours to learn your art. "I use basic, simple geometry and try to get the core of the image in my head without using complex
shapes. I want to create things that look like things. I am using the concept of childhood and building
blocks to try and create childhood memories, because I didn't have a
happy childhood. There's also a planned piece in the collection that will be
be all white."
"I like to use white because it casts shadows, and it's
like an interpretation of a blank canvass with simple cuts and
colors." On his favorite art to look at? "Any MOMA in a different
city or country. I appreciate art from Impressionism onward, and I
tend to get away from Realism. I like things that are not overtly a
thing. I like to interpret. If it's a tree, I want to discover it."
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| "America's Candy Dish" ©2018 Nicholas Oliver. A work in progress. |
Nicholas' philosophy/belief system about illness and getting better is short and to the point. "You don't do it alone. It takes too much energy to get through something like this, especially if you have to work and have a life. If you're wealthy, it's different story, but if you have to maintain your life and you have to have people on your side—a support system, a network. Regardless of pride, no one does it alone. Next is positivity. You have to believe you will get better. You cannot anticipate that it will happen naturally. It takes too much work for that to happen. You have to make it work."
Lastly, I asked him how it felt to be on
the other side of the disease, now that he is cured. "It feels
good to know I'm on the other side, and that it's not going to hurt
me any more. There was a point where I didn't want to think about it
at all, all that existed and was terrifying and debilitating. Now,
it's a footnote, something I say I got through. You learn a lot about
yourself in survival and you learn what matters. You reach a certain
level of inner peace, and you get to take that into your next battle.
In a way, it feels surreal, like it didn't happen at all. I look back
and think that it was someone else's life. I feel like I'm describing
a movie I watched.”
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In
closing, when “On Your Block” was conceived as a component of New
Horizons For Fifty, it was with people like Nicholas in mind, who
each shape the tapestry of life in their own unique way. The common
threads of connection we all share with each other brings the human
condition into vivid display and detail. But I didn't know this it
until I asked to interview him. When he said yes so quickly to being
interviewed, I knew then and there that this was the direction On
Your Block was meant to be headed. It highlights and validates a
long-held belief of mine that everyone who crosses your path has a
story worth telling. Everyone. Happy holidays, however
you celebrate. Namaste.
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| "Dare To Be Different" ©2018 Nicholas Oliver |
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For information and statistics about Hepatitis C, visit the Centers For Disease Control (CDC) here: https://www.cdc.gov/hepatitis/hcv/cfaq.htm
For information on "How HIV works, visit the following : https://aidsinfo.nih.gov/understanding-hiv-aids/fact-sheets/19/73/the-hiv-life-cycle
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Find New Horizons here:
Photo #2 owned and previously published by Motorboot Images. All other images courtesy of Nicholas Oliver. All images reprinted with permission.
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