San Diego Leather Pride 2019: A Time To Remember and Renew

by Eric Crow

Preface: This article will be more like a journal entry, all over the place and slightly unfocused. This is intentional. I have never stopped post-event processing, but I have been attending a lot more events than I used to. The end result is a big, happy jumble of surprises, sensations and emotions to make room for in my heart and mind, and I think it is only fair and right that this article reflects that. To still feel this way on my 50th trip around the world is truly a blessing, because it means that I still have a lot of life left to live. On to the article. To still feel this way on my 50th trip around the world is truly a blessing, because it means that I still have a lot of life left to live. On to the article.

I knew San Diego Leather Pride was coming up, and I have been exploring ways to get New Horizons on the map in an off-the-social-media-grid kind of way. The Facebook page is great, but it's the New Horizons blog that people seem to be here for. So when I found out that SDLP was still looking for sponsors, I jumped on board and became a bronze sponsor. I knew I would also be there to enjoy the contest, so it seemed only fitting to buy a weekend package. Lodging came thanks to my long-time friend and title Daddy, Everardo Aguilar (Mr. San Diego Bear 2001 and California Grizzly 2005) and though I would miss the Leather Pride flag raising and Contestant/Judge interview, I got just enough time off work that Friday to make it to All Clubs Night. In other words, everything fell into place and in short order; it was, as the church saying goes, "as if the anointing fell over me to be there."

Some history on the event: the Mr. San Diego Leather contest began in 1982 and has taken place every year except 1996, with the current reigning commonly placing in the top 20 at IML, and with one Mr. each winning at IML and ABW (names). The Ms. San Diego Leather contest kicked off in 1994 and has produced five national and international titleholders (names and years). San Diego Leather Pride began in 1999, created and directed by Papa Tony Lindsey, conceived then as a week long festival culminating in the Mr. San Diego Leather contest. The Mr. and Ms. contests eventually merged in the 2000s, and 2015 saw the advent of the San Diego Bootblack contest. Doriam Couto is the youngest Mr. in the family and Mark Holmes is the oldest surviving member of the title family. 

My connection to the contest: I attended SD Leather Pride for the first time in 2002, then recently collared to Papa Tony, and volunteered at the contest. As Mr. San Diego Eagle 2005, I choose to have the title feed into the Mr. San Diego Leather contest in March. Both the Eagle and the Contest remain at the foundation of my experience as a Leatherman. It is because of my San Diego Leather family that I know the meaning of the word "family." I lost my parents in the space of a year and left a relationship that I thought would be forever. I had my church family at MCC for a while, and through them, I met a few people who cross-populated in the Leather/Bear communities, who opened doors for me to come into my true, primal, spiritual self. 

I digress. On to the event. 

San Diego Leather Pride 2019 took place March 15-17, with all events happening at the World Beat Center in Balboa Park (the straight side, as it's known in jest). Jody Mitchell, Mr. San Diego Eagle 2018 and Paul Moo competed for the Mr. Title, Pup Rowdy and Pup Mephisto for Bootblack title, and Serafine Sawyer the lone contestant vying for the Ms. Title. I had a few auction items to drop off for Jody's auction baskets, and I made a beeline to him once there.

(L to R: Serafine Sawyer, Pup Rowdy, Pup Mephisto, 

Jody Mitchell, Paul Moo, courtesy Papa Tony)

My intention was to enjoy All Clubs Night with everyone else 

there, but less than 5 minutes into all clubs night, I knew I'd be seeing very little of the activities on stage. Most of my time that night was spent getting back in touch with my community/family in San Diego. In the space of just that first hour of the event, I had about 20 catch-up conversations with old friends and friends I'd made the weekend before the event, including but not limited to Mike Russell (International LeatherSir 2003); Jeff Breeze (Mr. SoCal Bear 2008 and Mr. Bear San Diego 2016); event producer AJ (San Diego Leather Daddy 2004); Karen Yew (Ms. San Diego Leather 2003); Annie Romano (Ms. World Leather 2001); and Myles Ramos, the current reigning Mr. San Diego Eagle. 

(L to R: Everardo Aguilar, me, David Wayne Ferguson, Jeff Breeze, Donnie Vella)

From across the room, I saw Papa Tony and went right to him, introducing me to his newest slave. I hoped he would be there and be happy to see me. I have been somewhat lacking in keeping open the lines of communication, and I might not have the same forgiveness if someone I knew and loved didn't stay in touch, but he extended his arms to me like always and as he left, we agreed to have brunch.)

The key conversation I ended up having was with Dave Rhodes from the Leather Journal in the smoking tent. He refreshed my memory about his newly created Patreon drive for the Journal, which I first heard about in December. Only this time we could communicate without being drowned out by gay bar music and other assorted noises. His Patreon drive is quite a viable idea as far as merging the history of the paper with the future of pledge drives. NH4F (our new acronym) is now a sponsor of The Journal at the "This Just In" level. 

Plug #1: I highly encourage people reading this to become a pledge of The Leather Journal. Dave Rhodes has been a force in the Leather Community since before I came out of the closet, and I and practically everyone I know in the community has made the paper at one point or another, and in my case, 8 times. Print publications are still a vital force in our community--should the Internet ever go away (don't laugh or scoff, it's always a possibility), they would be all we have (and with the way things are going in this country, they will try to take this away form us for good), so help Dave Rhodes keep things going by being a sponsor. I'll pause now while you all go look and see which tier fits you better.  (For more info, go to www.theleatherjournal.com.)

(Below: Doriam on stage, 24 hours to go.)

As things were winding down after All Clubs Night, I spotted Doriam Couto, the current reigning Mister (for about 24 more hours) sitting downstage center, in roughly the same spot he would be when he stepped aside the next night. After he lifted up his kilt to flash me his ass, I decided to grab a few moments with him, to see where his head was. 

Him being where he was on the stage brought back memories of standing center state at the Hole a week before I stepped down as Mr. San Diego Bear 2003, and I wondered if we both felt the same way. "It feels surreal. A year ago backstage, I never imagined I would be here."

His platform? "Let's walk together." He explained. "When Leather found me in 2015, I didn't see anyone who looked like me. #LetsWalkTogether was my initiative to change that by welcoming people of color, Leatherwomen, transform and /anyone/ who felt alone because of something we had no control over.

"My platform focused on getting visible as a young, queer, person of color in Leather and using my privilege too peak up and hold space for people who weren't as privilege. Ultimately, the idea was and is to walk with the community so that nobody felt left behind."

We moved on to discuss his title year. "Was it worth the experience?" I asked. 

"Absolutely. I would have done all that I did during my title year anyway; still, I never knew how hard it was to be a titleholder until I was a titleholder. Being a titleholder is one of the hardest things a Leatherman has to do."

As to whether or not it was worth it, he said, "The things I accomplished outweighed the things I had to sacrifice."

World Beat was closing down for the night, with most people going to a dance party in another part of town, but Everardo and I had other plans. "Could you eat?" I asked, and when he nodded, we took a little detour to one of my favorite places to eat when I lived in North Park. It's had a few name changes, but it's always been the best little taco shop on the corner of Oregon & University. I had to splurge on my old favorite--carne asada chips. It's this big ol' pile of meat and chips and cheese and sour cream that three could eat form and be full, complete with a salsa and a veggie bar if you like radishes and carrots for garnish. I made it a point to mention out loud, "This is the only place in the whole world where I can get a mound of scrumptious noms like this one." They appreciated the shout out.

We stopped at the Eagle, which had a light crowd for the night, but that made it great to move around and not be nuts to butts wherever you went. I put my Eagle grandson on stage for a little journey with a surgical wheel, before a quick flogging demo with the current Mr. Sanctuary Leather, Francisco Perales, who took me in just far enough to felt it, for a first time scene. I sat with Eveardo and sat for the rest of the night and chatted with Everardo and Wayne Deitz about old times. We left happy Bears, Everardo thanking me for taking him out, apparently for the first time in a long time. (Mr. Bear, you really should get out to see your family more often.) I fell asleep a happy man.

Saturday morning I woke up at 7 am (I do that now) and texted Papa Tony to connect for brunch, which happened at Bread & Cie, a bright, lively spot near 4th & University. The table I chose happened to look out almost directly at the building where a gift card shop named "Paper Rose" once stood. (This was the place where I came out to myself. Story coming in October.) When I was collared to him, I had come to ritualize his moments of processing and regaling of recent and past events, and though it had been many years since this last happened, once I sat with him, it was like only a couple seconds had passed. He had good advice for me on a future endeavor, which I had heard him speak about to so many others (that statement was either cryptic or the worst kept secret) With a deep, Daddy hug that only Papa Tony can give, we bid adieu until the contest. 

From here, I was off to meet Dominic Richards, a friend and massage therapist whose hands I met at Strength For the Journey a few years back. Buses with no shocks on a carpool lane that's not been taken care of in forever take their toll when you have to ride over them to and from work five days a week, and I landed up in urgent care because of it. Dominic goes to the Healing Center at S4TJ each year and donates his time. It was a pleasant surprise to run into him at the new Target (where the old Pic N Save used to be in the 2000s). The walk over to his house was another time-warp moment. I used to always walk through this same part of North Park on my way to Pershing Drive and Morley Field to write. At a certain point, the sounds of the hustle and bustle fade completely out, replaced by this tone of stillness that is unique to San Diego. It put me in just the right mood for what was to come. 45 minutes was just long enough, given the exciting evening to come. 

Plug #2: Dominic Richards has magic hands, and no matter how long he lays them on you, they work wonders. I have been fortunate enough to have his hands work their wounds on me at Strength For the Journey a couple times. Anyone would be lucky to receive his magic hands. (For more info, visit https://dominicrichards.amtamembers.com)

Karen Yew was giving a cigar workshop as I walked into World Beat and Duke Ruff was loving on boots in the outdoor stand. I put my name on his list to be next and waited patiently, watching him hone his craft on a pair of boots that needed extra attention. I'd just had my boots done by Geoff Millard at one of the 15 Anniversary Weekend play parties and hadn't put them on until SDLP. I did, however, have a title vest that needed a good once over. He went right to town, polishing my vest and adding a little manhandling into the process. 

(Below: Papa Tony with Duke Ruff)

I thought his efforts were enough to warrant a special tip. I came out with a San Diego Leather Pride pin and pinned it to his sock (the first time I have ever pinned someone) It brought back very fond memories of when the first time I was pinned, waaaaaay back in 2002 at Palm Springs Leather Pride (story to come on the forthcoming New Horizons After Dark blog.) When Papa Tony showed up, it was a treat to introduce him to to Duke, and see PT have the kind of kindhearted moment I used to see so many times, but was too jealous and insecure to understand. I know what compersion means now, though, back then, not so much. 

Everybody made their way in for cocktails, food and a hell of a show. 

Ten memorable moments and favorite things about the the contest. As with the LAL, no pics are provided, because your imagination will suffice: 

1) No seat was a bad seat for the contest, and the layout of the space was very conducive to an intimate, enjoyable time for everyone in attendance. 

2) We're all there to see the Mr. and Ms. contests, but in 2019, it's the Bootblack contest and people are here for it. Pup Mephisto and Pup Rowdy both wagged their way right into my heart. AWR-RAWR-RAWR!

3) The speeches. Each contestant made their mark on the stage, speaking from a place of Unity, Identity, Desire and Spirit. This alone was worth the price of admission, and it breathed new life into my Leather Heart. 

4) The furry frenzy that happened on stage during Jody Mitchell's fantasy segment. I've been to over 100 title contests, and his ranks right up there in the top five. It was just the right mix of funny and hot, and it had me and many in the audience rolling in the aisles. 

5) Hearing the doorbell ring during Paul Moo's fantasy. When Paul opened the door and we heard "Hello" from the Book of Mormon, that tickled the audience's funny bone. 

6) The pacing in this contest was phenomenal. Every minute of the contest was action-packed. There was only one break, it was toward the end and we were called back before the break was over because the results were already in. I'm pretty sure the auctions helped in terms of filling any  need for stretch time. 

7) Drink prices were great and the food was delicious. San Diego Leather Pride delivered a lot of bang for the buck (weekend packages were just $65). 

8) Getting to take so many great photographs during the contest. There was a lot of spirit and a lot of love present at the event. These images could be a blog all their own. In fact, I think they will be. 

9) Whether from the photos of Mama's Family, Onyx or the Trans community, there was an actualized diversity present in the room, that was a sight for my sore eyes. 

10) (Like Gus Norris at LAL) Seeing AJ Turner on duty and in charge. I've been a contest producer, and it's not an easy job by any stretch of the imagination. Seeing him work his magic reminded me of what I'm supposed to be doing.

(Below: Three newly elected titleholders 

pardon the blurry photo, it was the best of the bunch)

At this point, events start to blur together--the result of a good time well spent. The winners were announced--Jody Mitchell for Mr., Serafine Sawyer for Ms. and Pup Rowdy for Bootblack. Tons of pics happened on stage after they were presented their patch and sash. The energy in the room was all over the map. The Eagle was the after party spot. My new friend, Ben, and I, beat the crowd over there and stayed a while, and just as we were ready to leave, the newly sashed titleholders showed up and beckoned us back in for a while. I fell asleep a happy man, feeling all the feels and looking forward to the brunch the next morning. Some more baskets were auctioned off, IML 41 James Lee gave a great keynote, and I was beginning to not want to leave. Event drop had hit me early, and if not for a sudden jolt awake, I would have missed my train home. 

In closing, San Diego Leather Pride 2019 was everything I could have wanted in a weekend event, but more importantly, it gave me everything I needed. A reunion with my Leather family of origin, a hot contest, good friends, good food, good drinks, good times. San Diego, I carry you in my heart every day. That will never change. I will be seeing you all a lot more. I can't wait! To the new San Diego Leather Title family, get out there and remind them why San Diego will always be on the map. This is your moment--I can't wait to see what you do. 

Find New Horizons here:

FB: https://www.facebook.com/NewHorizonsForFifty
Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MHvvg3w-0Sg ("love yourself in your lists," a visual poem)