On Happiness and Joy - Gregory Ragsdale

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On Happiness and Joy - Gregory Ragsdale

I once equated happiness with joy. My experience and the words of those wiser than myself have helped me shed a light on the flaws in this point of view. I believe happiness is a state of being; a long term frame of mind that spans many different variations of emotions, feelings and instincts. 


Joy, on the other hand, is fleeting. It is something that we experience for a moment or a few and then it is gone until it visits us the next time. For me, joy is like an orgasm. The first time I experienced orgasm, I was very young (topic for a complete essay on its own) and my initial musings afterward had to do with why I could not feel like that all the time. Looking back, I now understand that I was actually angry and resentful toward God for giving me the capacity to experience something so amazing and then prevent me from always enjoying that sensation.  Of course, I did not possess the theological chops to discern that at the time, but in retrospect I believe that was what I felt. The point is, joy is fleeting. It lasts a little while and during those moments, it’s fantastic! But then it ends until the next time when it can be experienced again in all its grandeur.


Happiness is different. I do not necessarily experience joy if I am arguing with my spouse but I am still exceedingly happy in my marriage.  I may not experience joy while confronting a difficult co-worker, but I am nonetheless happy with my career trajectory. I may not have been joyful when the pandemic locked us all away from one another, but I was still very happy to have an abundance of food, love, means to connect virtually, and, yes, toilet paper. 


Let’s get back to the orgasm. If my wish had been granted to feel that way at all times, I never would have gotten anything done. I would not have the life I have lived; no children, no successful career, no opportunity to interact with friends and colleagues like the ones who will read this essay. Christ said that he came to earth to give us life in abundance. To me, that means that I must experience the entire gamut of human emotions: joy, sorrow, disappointment, jealousy, anger, to name a few. Only in embracing and learning from all of these emotions that grow from a rich array of life experiences am I able to enjoy a life that is truly characterized by happiness. And I do. 






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